My first post …yikes! What a crazy combination of feelings!
Truth be told I should have started this blog over a year ago. A combination of procrastination, feeling overwhelmed, and life got the better of me (or so I say). But God never took away the vision I had for this blog and I am so grateful He never gave up on me.
Ironically, another thing that kept me from doing this was one of the main reasons I was called to start this blog in the first place. I felt I wasn’t ready, I felt I had so much work to do to be worthy of doing this. I still had stuff! I could make excuses all day and say that being busy and my life situations caused me to delayed this blog so long, but let’s be honest you make time for the things you want to do.
Truth: Fear made me delay this!
Fear that no one would like my blog.
I thought: What if I start doing this and only a few people read it or worse no one reads it?! What if they think I am a horrible writer with
bad poor grammar?! Then I was reminded, I do not live for the approval of man . “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Gal 1:10 NIV It doesn’t matter if only one person reads it, if only one person is touched by it, or if one person knows they are not alone. It will be beyond worth it! God gave me this vision for a reason and even if it’s just to rescue one of His children, rescuing royalty is worth it!
Fear that I would run out of things to say.
What if I start this thing and I am a month in and I run out of things to say???? One answer; purpose and season. If I run out of things to write in this blog it’s because it has fulfilled its purpose, and God is calling me to share His love in a different way. In the past few years and I have learned about seasons “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” Ecc 3:1 KJV . Cliff Note version; I have learned that if a season is ending save yourself the heartache, don’t try to hold on to it. God is God, and He knows what He is doing. So if I run out of things to say and God tells me this season is ending, I am just going to let it go. Until then, I give myself fully to this vision!
Fear that my life will be out there for everyone to see.
Exposure…ugh. First off, if you know me at all you know I am not a fan of being in the spotlight. Far less for being in the spotlight sharing details about my life; my mistakes and mishaps out there for all to see! How will people look at me after knowing all of my business?? I had to remind myself again: “D, you do not live for the approval of man. The judgement of others will never outweigh God’s love for you.” Besides, shedding a light and revealing my truth will stop the devil from ever being able to hold me in bondage over any of it.
Fear of not being able to get everything done.
So much to do to get this thing up and running, and the moment I decided to actually do this, life got so busy. But we make time for the things that are important to us. Thank God I have people in my circle that have done this before and who were supportive and helpful. Shout out to Trudi for sharing her knowledge (check out her blog y’all Colorfully Broken www.colorfullybroken.com). Shout out to my not so little cousin for my header design (check out her business Opulence Clothing www.opulenceclothing.co ). To all the other people who offered invaluable advice and support, you know who you are, THANK YOU! See, when God gives you a vision He doesn’t expect you to figure it out on your own. He gives you people and resources to bring it to life. I literally sit here writing this with grateful tears in my eyes thinking about how He put this into motion. He is so amazing!
Fear that I was not ready, I wasn’t fully fixed.
Who am I to speak into peoples lives when I have “stuff” I am still dealing with? But… In spite of all that “stuff” God’s love for me is still perfect! He can still use me, He still loves me and He never gives up on me and He feels the same about you. My life is real and real life is not perfect. It’s a good thing that God doesn’t require us to be perfect, He just requires us to have a willing and repentant heart. “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.” 2 Cor 12:09 HCSB. Steven Furtick said something along the lines of; most of the time we want to be restored before we respond, but the order of faith says we respond before we are restored. God calls us to do things and we want to be perfect before we act, but He will perfect us while we act.
With every fear shot down and a desire to please God; here it goes! Join me as I share my heart. Don’t expect perfection, perfect grammar, or punctuation. Expect me to be; Imperfect yet PERFECTLY Loved!
This week’s song inspiration: You Make Me Brave by Amanda Cook